Alright, fellow tapeheads, gather 'round. Let's talk about a film that likely lurked on the bottom shelf of your local video store, perhaps wedged between a Chuck Norris flick and something with "Ninja" in the title. I'm talking about Rick Sloane's 1988 magnum opus of... well, something: Hobgoblins. Finding this gem felt like unearthing forbidden knowledge, the kind whispered about late at night after one too many sodas. It promised monsters, mayhem, and maybe a little bit of that weirdness the major studios wouldn't touch. Oh, it delivered on the weirdness, alright.
### Backyard Monsters on a Budget
Let's be upfront: Hobgoblins isn't Gremlins. While clearly inspired by the success of Joe Dante's creature classic (released four years prior), comparing the two is like comparing a meticulously crafted Swiss watch to one drawn on a napkin with crayon. But that's precisely where the Hobgoblins charm – if you can call it that – resides. It’s a testament to what happens when ambition wildly outpaces budget and, perhaps, common sense.
The plot, such as it is, follows young Kevin (Tom Bartlett) who lands a gig as a night security guard at an old, forgotten film vault. Naturally, he accidentally unleashes the titular creatures – furry, psychic alien puppets that look like rejected Muppets who’ve seen better days. These aren't your garden-variety monsters; they prey on people by fulfilling their wildest fantasies, which inevitably leads to their demise in gloriously absurd ways. Think killer lawnmowers, exploding rock stars, and death by strip club phone booth. Yes, really.
### So Bad It's... Unforgettable?
The energy here isn't derived from slick editing or high-octane chases. It's fueled by pure, unadulterated B-movie audacity. Rick Sloane, who not only directed but also wrote and produced the film (talk about commitment!), reportedly scraped together a budget of around $15,000. Knowing that suddenly makes the slightly stiff alien puppets and... creative death sequences seem almost heroic in their ambition. There's a certain raw quality here, a feeling that anything could happen, mostly because it feels like the filmmakers were making it up as they went along. Remember how those practical creature effects, even the wonky ones, had a tangible weirdness you just don't get with CGI? The Hobgoblins themselves, while hardly convincing, have that bizarre, handmade quality that sticks in your brain.
The performances are certainly... committed. Tom Bartlett as Kevin plays the earnest (if slightly dim) hero, while Paige Sullivan as his girlfriend Amy provides the necessary screaming and questionable fashion choices endemic to the era. You've got standout weirdness from characters like the perpetually horny McCreedy (Steven Boggs), the aging Lothario boss Mr. Peterson, and Daphne, whose fantasy involves becoming a rock goddess for about five minutes before spontaneously combusting. It’s a gallery of oddballs delivered with maximum sincerity, which only amplifies the film's unique flavor.
### From Video Store Oddity to Cult Infamy
Hobgoblins didn't exactly set the box office on fire upon release. It was pure direct-to-video fodder, the kind of movie you rented on a whim because the cover looked vaguely monstrous. Its real claim to fame came nearly a decade later, when it was mercilessly (and hilariously) skewered on Mystery Science Theater 3000 in 1997. That episode arguably became more famous than the film itself, cementing Hobgoblins' status as a gold-standard "so bad it's good" movie. Sloane himself, known for other low-budget efforts like Blood Theatre (1984) and The Visitants (1986), even participated in interviews acknowledging the film’s newfound cult status, sometimes with bemused resignation. Apparently, he even tried to get the MST3K episode pulled initially, perhaps not realizing it would grant his fuzzy nightmares eternal life.
There's an innocence, almost, to its ineptitude. The non-sequitur scenes (like the extended, baffling garden tool fight between Kevin and his friends), the nonsensical plot turns, the dialogue that sounds like it was translated from another language – it all combines into something uniquely... Hobgoblins. It’s a film made with passion, even if that passion didn't quite translate into technical prowess or narrative coherence. It's a fascinating time capsule of late-80s low-budget filmmaking, where sheer willpower sometimes had to substitute for talent and resources.
***
VHS Heaven Rating: 3/10
Justification: Let's be real. On any conventional scale of filmmaking quality, Hobgoblins scrapes the bottom. The acting is wooden, the script is nonsensical, the effects are laughable, and the pacing is often glacial. However, for sheer baffling entertainment value, ironic enjoyment, and its legendary status in the annals of bad cinema (thanks, MST3K!), it earns a few points. It achieves a kind of anti-brilliance.
Final Thought: Hobgoblins is the movie equivalent of finding a weird, fuzzy novelty toy at the back of a dusty thrift store – objectively worthless, maybe slightly unsettling, but you can’t help but pick it up and wonder, "What were they thinking?" Essential viewing for bad movie aficionados, but maybe keep the fast-forward button handy.