Okay, fellow tape-heads, let's talk about a sequel that decided to take a sharp left turn into glorious, goofy territory. Remember finding this one on the video store shelf, maybe right next to Wes Craven’s moodier 1982 original? The cover alone, often featuring a certain blonde TV superstar looking slightly bewildered next to our favourite muck-encrusted mockery of a man, hinted that things were different this time. We're diving headfirst into the bayou of B-movie bliss with Jim Wynorski’s The Return of Swamp Thing (1989).
This wasn't just a sequel; it was a tonal reinvention, swapping much of the original's gothic horror atmosphere for bright, Saturday-matinee adventure splashed with deliberate camp. Wynorski, a maestro of making the most out of modest means (just look at Chopping Mall or Deathstalker II), clearly wasn't aiming for brooding intensity. He was aiming for fun, and honestly, on its own weird terms, the movie often achieves it. Forget the murky seriousness – this is Swamp Thing by way of a slightly deranged Hanna-Barbera cartoon.
### From Horror Roots to Comedic Shoots
The plot, flimsy as a waterlogged leaf, sees the sinister Dr. Anton Arcane (Louis Jourdan, gamely returning) miraculously restored after his monstrous transformation in the first film. He’s back to his old tricks, obsessed with conquering death via swampy science, and who can blame him? Immortality sounds pretty good. Enter his visiting step-daughter, Abby Arcane, played with maximum 80s gusto by Heather Locklear. Abby is a plant enthusiast who loves nature but maybe loves halter tops and perfect hair even more. It’s a performance that famously nabbed her a Razzie for Worst Actress, but let's be fair: in a movie this knowingly silly, her slightly detached, sometimes bewildered delivery almost feels right. She’s the audience surrogate dropped into a world of rubber monsters and mad science, and her reactions often mirror our own amusement.
It’s a delight seeing Louis Jourdan back, clearly having a ball chewing the scenery. He brings a certain sophisticated menace, even when delivering lines about genetic cocktails. And let's not forget Sarah Douglas (the imposing Ursa from Superman II!) as Dr. Lana Zurrell, Arcane’s calculating associate and lover, adding another layer of cool villainy. But the real heart of the film, literally and figuratively, is Dick Durock reprising his role as Swamp Thing.
### That Glorious Rubber Suit
Let’s talk about Swampy himself. Durock, who sadly passed in 2009, endured the incredibly cumbersome and notoriously hot latex-and-foam suit once again. You can almost feel the discomfort, yet he imbues the creature with a surprising amount of pathos and even gentle humour. This Swamp Thing is less terrifying beast, more misunderstood, super-strong eco-guardian with a soft spot for Abby. Remember the practical effects back then? The sheer physicality of Durock moving in that suit, the tangible texture of the moss and vines – it had a weight and presence that modern CGI, for all its smoothness, often lacks. A fascinating bit of trivia: the budget was reportedly around $3 million, peanuts even then, forcing Wynorski and his team to get creative with their creature chaos. It’s a testament to the era’s practical effects artists that Swamp Thing still looks iconic, even if you can occasionally spot a seam.
The action sequences lean into the comic book vibe. There are shootouts with hapless mercenaries, monstrous creatures born from Arcane’s failed experiments (often looking wonderfully like rejected Power Rangers villains), and Swamp Thing generally tossing bad guys around like soggy G.I. Joes. It lacks the raw danger of, say, RoboCop's practical squibs, but it fits the lighter tone. Was that greenhouse shootout ridiculous? Absolutely. Was it entertaining in a late-night-pizza-and-VHS kind of way? You bet. Filmed primarily around Savannah, Georgia, the locations add a genuine swampy atmosphere that helps sell the absurdity unfolding within it.
### Campfire Classic or Swampy Mess?
Critically, The Return of Swamp Thing was about as popular as a mosquito at a picnic upon release. Audiences, perhaps expecting a continuation of Craven's darker vision, were likely baffled. But time, and the magic of endlessly re-run cable showings and worn-out VHS tapes, has been kind. It found its audience – those of us who appreciate its unpretentious B-movie energy, its commitment to camp, and its surprisingly sweet central romance (yes, Swamp Thing gets the girl!). It knows exactly what it is: a low-budget creature feature romp with its tongue planted firmly in its cheek moss. The film even leans into the absurdity with moments like two kids providing running commentary, almost acknowledging the inherent silliness.
This movie is pure, unadulterated late-80s cheese, and that’s precisely its charm. It’s got the big hair, the slightly awkward dialogue, the earnest practical effects, and a TV starlet thrown into the muck. I distinctly remember renting this from a local store – 'Video Villa', I think it was called – purely based on Locklear being on the cover, expecting action but getting... well, this. And you know what? It was a blast.
Rating: 6/10
Justification: It's undeniably flawed, technically crude in places, and Heather Locklear's Razzie wasn't entirely without merit in a traditional sense. However, it fully commits to its campy tone, features a game cast (especially Jourdan and Durock), boasts some endearingly clunky practical effects, and delivers genuine, unpretentious B-movie fun. It achieves exactly what it sets out to do, even if that goal is decidedly low-brow. It's a significant step down in quality from Craven's original, but judged on its own goofy merits, it's a memorable slice of VHS-era creature feature entertainment.
Final Thought: Forget serious eco-horror; The Return of Swamp Thing is the ultimate bayou-based hangout movie, best enjoyed with low expectations and a high tolerance for glorious, rubbery nonsense – a true relic of the video store's wilder side.