Alright, settle back onto that worn spot on the couch, maybe pop open a can of something fizzy, because tonight on VHS Heaven, we’re dusting off a tape that brings the big man with the bigger fists far from his usual Naples beat. We're talking about Flatfoot in Egypt (original Italian title: Piedone d'Egitto), the 1980 conclusion to the charmingly straightforward adventures of Inspector Rizzo, played by the legendary Bud Spencer. This wasn't always the easiest find down at the local video store, often nestled between more bombastic American action flicks, but finding it felt like unearthing a slightly exotic, punch-happy treasure.
### From Vesuvius to the Valley of the Kings
For those unfamiliar, Inspector "Flatfoot" Rizzo is Naples' toughest, most incorruptible cop, a man who prefers his fists to his firearm (which he famously claims to keep locked away). The Flatfoot series, directed with workmanlike efficiency by Italian comedy veteran Steno (who also gave us classics like Febbre da cavallo and worked with comedy giants like Totò), always offered a comforting blend of procedural investigation, local colour, and, of course, Bud Spencer delivering his signature piston-like punches and open-handed slaps that sounded like someone tenderising a side of beef.
Flatfoot in Egypt kicks off back in Naples, naturally, but quickly shifts gears when an investigation into a kidnapped oil tycoon's niece points towards Cairo. This change of scenery is the film's main hook. Gone are the bustling Italian streets, replaced by pyramids, bustling souks, and desert vistas. It gives the formula a welcome jolt, even if the plot itself – involving rival scientists, secret formulas, and insect-based shenanigans – feels delightfully thin, mainly serving as a clothesline upon which to hang various set pieces.
### The Gentle Giant Lets Fly (Again)
Let's be honest, you didn't rent a Bud Spencer movie for intricate plotting. You rented it for the action, and Flatfoot in Egypt delivers exactly what fans expect, albeit with an Egyptian backdrop. The fights are pure Bud Spencer. Forget fancy choreography or wire-fu; this is about a big, immovable object (Rizzo) meeting easily resistible forces (waves of hapless thugs). Remember those sound effects? Every slap echoes, every punch lands with a comedic thwack that was somehow both cartoonish and weirdly satisfying.
What really stands out, watching it now, is the sheer physicality of it all. These are practical stunts, real guys taking bumps (though likely well-padded). When Rizzo sends a goon flying into a market stall, you see the actual stall crumble. There’s a tangible weight to the action that CGI often smooths over today. It might look less slick, but it feels grounded in a way that’s incredibly watchable. One particularly memorable sequence involves a chaotic chase and brawl within the Cairo Marriott Hotel (originally the Gezirah Palace), adding a touch of grandeur to the expected fisticuffs. It's worth noting that Bud Spencer (born Carlo Pedersoli) was a former Olympic swimmer for Italy before turning to acting – that natural athleticism, combined with his sheer size, made his on-screen presence uniquely imposing yet surprisingly agile when needed.
### Sun, Sand, and Sidekicks
Alongside the big man is the ever-present, ever-flustered Brigadier Caputo, played with wonderful comedic timing by Enzo Cannavale. Caputo is the perfect foil: nervous, slightly inept, but fiercely loyal. Their interactions provide much of the film's lighter moments, a classic pairing of the stoic hero and his bumbling partner. Steno, directing his fourth Flatfoot film, knew exactly how to utilize this dynamic. Also returning is Baldwyn Dakile as Bodo, Rizzo's adopted African son, adding a touch of heart and giving Rizzo someone to protect beyond the kidnapped niece.
Musically, the film benefits immensely from the score by Guido & Maurizio De Angelis (often credited as Oliver Onions), the maestros behind countless iconic soundtracks for Bud Spencer and Terence Hill films. Their distinctive blend of catchy, upbeat tunes and slightly melancholic themes perfectly complements the action and comedy, instantly evoking that specific era of European cinema. It’s the kind of score that sticks in your head long after the credits roll and the VCR clicks off.
### Digging Up a Relic
Was Flatfoot in Egypt a cinematic masterpiece? Of course not. The plot is predictable, some cultural depictions are firmly rooted in their time, and the pacing occasionally meanders. But critiquing it on those grounds misses the point. This was comfort food cinema, Italian-style. It was popular in Europe, particularly Italy and Germany where Bud Spencer was (and remains) a beloved icon, even if it didn't make huge waves internationally. Finding the dubbed VHS tape felt like being let in on a fun, slightly goofy secret. The dubbing itself often added another layer of unintentional charm, didn't it?
Watching it today evokes that warm, fuzzy feeling of late-night movie rentals. It’s uncomplicated fun, carried by the immense charisma of its lead and the simple pleasure of watching bad guys get hilariously clobbered. The Egyptian locations add a nice visual flavour, making it feel a bit more adventurous than Rizzo's usual Naples stomping grounds.
Rating: 6.5/10
Justification: While the plot is wafer-thin and it doesn't break any new ground, Flatfoot in Egypt delivers exactly what it promises: Bud Spencer punching his way through exotic locales with his usual charm. The practical action holds up surprisingly well in its sheer physicality, Enzo Cannavale is reliably funny, and the De Angelis brothers' score is a joy. It's pure, unadulterated VHS-era comfort viewing, elevated slightly by the change of scenery and Spencer's undeniable screen presence.
Final Thought: Forget complex narratives; sometimes you just need to see a big Italian cop slap his way through Cairo. Flatfoot in Egypt is a charmingly direct dose of 80s international action-comedy, best enjoyed with zero irony and maybe some pizza.