Alright, fellow tapeheads, slide that worn copy of Meet the Feebles into the VCR, adjust the tracking if you need to (you probably will), and prepare for something... else. If you stumbled upon this flick back in the day, tucked away in the 'Comedy' or maybe even the 'Cult' section of your local video store, chances are you weren't quite ready. Forget cuddly Muppets; this 1989 fever dream from a young, hungry Peter Jackson takes the concept of felt-skinned performers and drags it through the muck, the mire, and just about every bodily fluid imaginable.
### Not Your Kid Sister's Puppet Show
Let's be blunt: Meet the Feebles is gloriously, unashamedly depraved. It presents the behind-the-scenes turmoil of a "Muppet Show"-esque variety programme, the titular 'Feebles Variety Hour', but reveals the cast to be a collection of drug addicts, sex pests, pornographers, PTSD-suffering veterans, and disease-ridden degenerates. Our nominal heroine, Heidi the Hippo, discovers her lover, the walrus impresario Bletch, is cheating on her, setting off a chain reaction of backstage chaos that culminates in... well, let's just say it gets messy. Really messy.
This wasn't Peter Jackson the Oscar-winning director of The Lord of the Rings (2001-2003). This was the Kiwi maverick who'd previously gifted us the micro-budget alien splatter-fest Bad Taste (1987). Feebles itself grew out of the ashes of a proposed television short called 'Roast of the Day', expanding when funding for another project fell through. Jackson and his co-writers (Danny Mulheron, Stephen Sinclair, Fran Walsh – yes, that Fran Walsh) seized the opportunity to unleash absolute puppet anarchy. Shot primarily in an old warehouse in Wellington, New Zealand, on a shoestring budget, the film feels imbued with a raw, almost punk-rock energy.
### The Grotesque Glory of Practical Puppets
Forget CGI polish. The genius – and the gut-churning effectiveness – of Meet the Feebles lies entirely in its practical effects and puppetry. These aren't just static figures; they sweat, bleed, vomit, ejaculate, and worse. The sheer craftsmanship involved in making these felt creatures perform such vile acts is perversely impressive. Remember how real those messy moments looked back then? There’s a tangible squishiness, a grimy reality to the fluids and gore that digital effects rarely capture. The fly journalist, Fly-in-the-Ointment Buzz, digging through literal crap; the rabbit Wynyard grappling with his heroin addiction and Vietnam flashbacks; the infamous Russian Roulette scene... it's all brought to life with wires, latex, Karo syrup, and sheer demented ingenuity.
You can almost smell the cheap glue and desperation, and honestly, it adds to the charm. This was filmmaking by any means necessary. Apparently, the crew often worked ridiculously long hours in challenging conditions, fueled by little more than passion and probably a fair bit of dark humour to get through depicting puppet STDs and interspecies pornography. The climactic sequence, a full-blown massacre set to music, is a masterpiece of low-budget mayhem, showcasing impressive miniature work and squib-filled puppet carnage that feels both hilarious and deeply unsettling.
### Beyond the Shock Value
Is it just shock value, though? Well, mostly. But beneath the sleaze, there's a razor-sharp satire of show business, celebrity culture, and the darkness lurking beneath seemingly wholesome facades. The characters, despite being puppets engaged in reprehensible behaviour, have surprisingly distinct personalities, thanks to the energetic voice work (including Mark Hadlow and Stuart Devenie) and the expressive puppeteering. The songs are catchy, often disturbingly so, managing to parody saccharine musical numbers while delivering incredibly dark lyrics.
Upon release, Meet the Feebles wasn't exactly a box office smash – shocking, I know. It baffled critics and likely sent unprepared renters scrambling for the eject button. Its $750,000 budget didn't exactly set the world alight financially. But like so many VHS-era oddities, it found its audience over time, becoming a true cult classic whispered about in hushed, slightly disgusted tones among film geeks. It’s a testament to Peter Jackson's fearless creativity, even if that creativity led him down some truly bizarre and disgusting paths before he found mainstream success with films like Heavenly Creatures (1994).
### The Verdict on the Feebles
Meet the Feebles is emphatically not for everyone. If depictions of puppet drug use, graphic violence, and general debauchery turn your stomach, steer clear. But if you appreciate audacious, boundary-pushing black comedy and have a strong constitution, this is a vital piece of cult cinema history. It's a film that could only have clawed its way into existence during that wilder, less sanitized era of filmmaking, likely discovered via a lurid VHS cover promising something truly weird. It delivers on that promise, in spades. The practical effects are a grotesque joy, the satire is biting (if buried under filth), and the sheer nerve of it all remains potent.
Rating: 7/10 – docking points for the undeniable fact it's offensively unpleasant in parts, but awarding major points for originality, incredible low-budget practical effects, and balls-to-the-wall filmmaking nerve.
Final Take: A cinematic train wreck you can’t look away from, Meet the Feebles is the ultimate proof that puppets shouldn't play with firearms, needles, or each other. Still shocking, still hilarious (if you're wired that way), and a grimy gem from the depths of the VHS archive.