Alright, settle in, grab your beverage of choice, and let's talk about a movie that practically exploded out of the VCR in a supernova of colour, sound, and glorious, glorious cheese. Forget subtle space grey palettes and gritty realism for a moment. We're diving headfirst into the deliriously vibrant, operatic chaos of Mike Hodges' 1980 masterpiece of pulp, Flash Gordon. If your battered rental copy didn't have tracking issues that made Ming the Merciless look like he was phasing between dimensions, were you even living?
This wasn't just a movie; it was an event. From the second that unforgettable Queen anthem kicks in – "FLASH! AH-AAAAAH!" – you know you're in for something special, something shamelessly dedicated to pure spectacle. It hits you like a bolt of lightning, which, coincidentally, is how Emperor Ming decides to spice up planet Earth's weather patterns out of sheer boredom.
### Saviour of the Universe? More Like King of Camp!
The plot is wonderfully simple, ripped straight from Alex Raymond's classic comic strips. All-American football hero Flash Gordon (Sam J. Jones) and sassy travel agent Dale Arden (Melody Anderson) find themselves unwilling passengers on a rocket ship piloted by the possibly mad, definitely brilliant Dr. Hans Zarkov (Topol, yes, Tevye himself!). Their destination? The rogue planet Mongo, ruled with an iron fist (encased in a fabulous jewelled glove) by the utterly magnificent Ming the Merciless, played with scene-devouring relish by the legendary Max von Sydow. Seriously, von Sydow, fresh off films like The Exorcist (1973), commits so hard to Ming’s grandiose villainy, it’s a performance for the ages. He understands the assignment perfectly: be menacing, be regal, and look fantastic doing it.
Producer Dino De Laurentiis, a man never known for thinking small, originally envisioned Italian maestro Federico Fellini directing Flash Gordon. Can you even imagine? While Hodges, primarily known for gritty crime films like Get Carter (1971), might seem an odd choice, he leans into the absurdity with a surprisingly straight face, letting the sheer force of the visuals and performances carry the day. And what visuals they are!
### A Feast for Eyes (and Ears)
Let's talk production design and costumes, courtesy of the Oscar-winning Danilo Donati. Forget subtle. Mongo is a LSD-fueled explosion of gold lamé, scarlet tunics, intricate masks, feathered wings, and laser beams rendered in eye-searing primary colours. Every frame drips with a level of baroque detail that feels handcrafted and gloriously excessive. This wasn't CGI gloss; this was artisans building elaborate, physical sets – Arboria's lush green kingdoms, Sky City's precarious platforms, Mingo City's opulent, slightly terrifying throne room. It feels tangible in a way modern blockbusters often don't. Remember the sheer impact of seeing Prince Barin's forest kingdom or the Hawkmen swooping down? It felt real because, well, large parts of it were.
And the action! It's pure Saturday morning serial heroism writ large. The fight on the tilting disc platform? Okay, maybe the choreography isn't Bourne-level complex, but the stakes felt high! Real stunt performers, actual peril (or the convincing illusion of it), and practical effects ruled the day. Remember those laser blasts? Simple optical effects, sure, but they had a zappy energy. The Hawkmen attack on Mingo City is pure, unadulterated joy – Brian Blessed bellowing "GORDON'S ALIVE?!" with enough force to shake the speakers on your old CRT TV, leading his winged warriors (actors clearly suspended on wires, bless 'em) into battle. It’s charmingly physical, a stark contrast to today's weightless digital armies.
### Retro Fun Facts & Quirky Charm
Of course, part of the fun is the film's charming imperfections. Sam J. Jones certainly looked the part, a blonde Adonis plucked from the pages of Playgirl magazine (where he had indeed appeared). However, alleged difficulties on set led to a significant portion of his dialogue being dubbed by another actor, a fact that becomes weirdly noticeable once you know it. Yet, somehow, it just adds to the film's unique, slightly off-kilter charm. The dialogue itself, penned by Lorenzo Semple Jr. – who also gifted us the glorious camp of the 1960s Batman TV series – is often hilariously direct and declamatory, exactly like the comic panels it honours. Lines like "Dispatch War Rocket Ajax to bring back his body!" are delivered with operatic seriousness.
The film wasn't a runaway smash in the US upon release, possibly overshadowed by The Empire Strikes Back that same year. It cost a hefty $20 million (a significant sum back then, roughly $75 million today) but found immense, enduring love internationally and especially on home video. It became a quintessential VHS tape, passed around, watched repeatedly at sleepovers, its bizarre beauty and infectious energy burning into our collective memory. That Queen soundtrack didn't hurt either; it's arguably one of the greatest rock soundtracks ever fused to a film, perfectly capturing the high-energy, operatic tone. Apparently, the band was given considerable freedom, watching the footage and composing tracks that amplified the on-screen madness.
### Still Electrifying After All These Years?
Watching Flash Gordon today is like opening a time capsule filled with pure, unadulterated fun. It's campy, yes. It's cheesy, absolutely. But it's also sincere in its pulp aspirations, visually stunning in its own unique way, and driven by an energy that's impossible to resist. The practical effects have a weight and charm, the performances (especially von Sydow and Blessed) are iconic, and that soundtrack still absolutely slaps. It understands exactly what it is – a live-action comic book brought to life with maximum colour, noise, and heart.
Rating: 8/10
Justification: While undeniably campy and occasionally clumsy by modern standards, Flash Gordon earns this score through its sheer visual audacity, infectious energy, legendary soundtrack, iconic performances, and enduring cult status. It's a triumph of imaginative, practical filmmaking from a bygone era, delivering pure, unpretentious entertainment that still thrills.
Final Thought: Forget gritty reboots; sometimes you just need a hero in a tight red shirt, battling a bored intergalactic Emperor to the sound of killer British rock. Gordon's still alive, and thank goodness for that.